The first days of school are filled with newness; fresh supplies, exciting classrooms, and plenty of first impressions. However, as the weeks pass, many families begin to notice a shift. The excitement fades, routines still feel wobbly, and children, especially Autistic children, can become tired, overwhelmed, or resistant.
This is completely normal. Adjusting to school isn’t a one-week process; it takes time, patience, and plenty of support.
Why Challenges Often Appear After Week One
It’s not unusual for the first week to go relatively smoothly, only for difficulties to show up later. This is sometimes called the “honeymoon phase.” At first, children may be running on novelty and adrenaline, but once the reality of daily routines sets in, their energy and coping reserves start to dip.
Autistic children, in particular, use tremendous amounts of energy to navigate sensory demands, communication, and social expectations at school. By week two or three, that extra effort can show up as meltdowns, withdrawal, or heightened anxiety at home.
Building Stamina Takes Time
Think of starting school like training for a marathon. Nobody runs 42 kilometres on their first day; they build stamina slowly, with rest and recovery between runs.
The same is true for children adjusting to school. They need:
- Time: It may take weeks (or longer) for your child’s body and mind to adjust to the new routine.
- Rest: Downtime after school is just as important as academics. Don’t be afraid to protect quiet evenings or shorter days if possible.
- Balanced expectations: Celebrate small victories, making it through the school day, trying a new activity, or asking for help, rather than focusing only on academics or “behaviour.”
Supporting Emotional Regulation Beyond the First Days
Emotional regulation isn’t a skill that’s mastered once, it’s an ongoing process. Here are ways families can continue to support their child as the weeks unfold:
- Stick to predictable routines at home. Familiarity helps balance out the unpredictability of school.
- Offer sensory breaks. Quiet time, movement, or access to favourite tools (headphones, fidget toys, weighted blankets) can help children reset after school.
- Use emotional check-ins. A quick “How are you feeling?” with visuals or scales can give your child a voice to share what’s happening inside.
- Model calm strategies. Show your child what you do when you feel tired or overwhelmed, such as deep breaths, stretching, or simply taking a break.
A Word of Reassurance
If your child is struggling a few weeks into school, it doesn’t mean they’ve failed, or that you have. It simply means their nervous system is still finding its rhythm in a new environment. As Children’s Autism Services’ Executive Director, Terri Duncan reminds us in her book, Why Emotional Regulation Might Mean…EVERYTHING, learning can only happen when a child feels safe and regulated.
By giving children time to build stamina, adjusting expectations, and prioritizing emotional well-being, families can help set the stage for a more successful and sustainable school year.