Hallowe’en is a fun and exciting tradition for many families in Canada, but when you stop and think about it, Hallowe’en is actually a pretty strange event.
Usually, we teach children to not talk to strangers, not take candy from strangers, and to not enter strangers’ homes. However, for Hallowe’en, we break all of those rules. We also dress up in costumes that can make us look completely different, some people decorate their homes to look frightening (with some decorations that make loud noises or move unexpectedly). There are crowds, flashing lights, unusual smells, unfamiliar people, and lots of unexpected activity.
For some autistic children, all of this additional sensory and emotional input can make staying regulated and participating much more difficult.
An emotional regulation approach reminds us that regulation is not simply about being “calm.” It is about being able to manage our emotional and physiological state so that we can participate successfully in a particular environment. What is exciting and enjoyable for one child may be overwhelming for another. Autistic children can have very different sensory preferences and regulation needs, so there is no single “right” way to experience Hallowe’en.
Here are some tips that you can use if you want to prepare for Spooky Season.
Look at Hallowe’en Through Your Child’s Eyes
Before Hallowe’en arrives, think about what your child may experience through their senses. Will the costume feel uncomfortable? Will the noise of doorbells, voices, and decorations be difficult? Will unexpected movements or frightening decorations cause anxiety? Will a busy street with lots of children and adults be overwhelming?
Rather than expecting your child to simply tolerate these experiences, consider what you can change about the environment. When sensory input is overwhelming, we should adjust the environment as much as possible and provide coping strategies when we cannot control what is happening around us. This might mean choosing a comfortable costume, having a backup costume or no costume at all, avoiding houses with particularly intense decorations, bringing noise-reducing headphones, taking breaks, or choosing a quieter time.
Participation Does Not Have to Look One Way
There is no requirement that a successful Hallowe’en means going door-to-door for two hours and collecting as much candy as possible. Some parents may need to adjust their own expectations, even if their childhood experience with Hallowe’en was different.
Your child might enjoy dressing up, but not enjoy trick-or-treating. They might prefer visiting a few familiar houses rather than every house on the street. They might enjoy handing out candy at home instead of going out, or they might want to walk around the neighbourhood and look at decorations without approaching anyone.
These are all valid ways to participate. An emotional regulation approach focuses on supporting the individual, and removing barriers that make participation difficult, rather than forcing someone to complete an activity simply because that is how everyone else does it. The goal is to help each child to have an experience that works for them.
Prepare, But Stay Flexible
Hallowe’en can also involve many changes to a child’s usual routine. Preparing your child ahead of time can make those changes more predictable.
Talk about what will happen. Look at pictures of Hallowe’en. Use visual supports or a social story if those are helpful for your child. Explain that people may look different, houses may look different, and some decorations may make unexpected sounds or movements.
At Children’s Autism Services, we have offered a Practice Trick or Treat event for the last few years. Here, our internal families can bring their child to a sensory friendly setting to practice trick or treating. We have social stories prepared for families to take home, we have volunteers who stand behind doors to hand out candy, we have visual supports throughout the building, and we do not expect children to say “trick or treat”. It’s a positive opportunity to prepare before Hallowe’en, and children, families, and staff all look forward to this event! Attending other Hallowe’en themed events can help autistic children to prepare ahead of time.
At the same time, preparation does not mean that your child has to follow a predetermined plan. Watch for their signals, and adjust as needed. A child who is well regulated before leaving the house may become overwhelmed after visiting several homes. This is not a failure; it is information that can communicate the child’s needs, and adults have the responsibility to respond accordingly.
Autistic individuals are highly individual in their emotional regulation needs, and supports should be tailored to the person and the context.
Adapt Hallowe’en to Each Child’s Needs
For many of us, Hallowe’en is a treasured tradition. Families of autistic children can and should participate in Hallowe’en traditions, if they so choose. However, instead of asking autistic children to adapt themselves to Hallowe’en, to adjust to every unusual, noisy, or unpredictable part of the holiday, let us make the needed changes so that we can adapt the Hallowe’en experience around each child.
With thoughtful preparation, appropriate sensory supports, flexibility, and a willingness to follow the child’s lead, Hallowe’en can become an experience that is enjoyable, meaningful, and successful, whatever that looks like for your child and family.
We’re Here to Help
At Children’s Autism Services, we believe in supporting the whole child and building strong, respectful relationships with the families we serve. If your family is navigating challenges with sensory needs, expectations, communication, or emotional regulation, our team is here to help you find supports that are responsive to your child’s individual needs.